(Helpful hint: if hell only text and wont talk on the phone, that is often a sign that he has an SO of some kind). The only thing that the job requires is that the worker to be nice to their customer (most of the times). Im not saying that women never have trouble, because of course they do, but every one of the incidents that the men described were situations where all of the women who were in the conversation were basically what the hell were you thinking going somewhere alone with a stranger/letting a stranger get that physically close to you?. . I wonder if anyone has ever gathered real data on this? There are probably a lot of gender dynamics at play too (Im a female, I asked out a male) if the roles were reversed it may feel more awkward. She might followup with other questions like "what time?" Thats great in theory & hopefully one day we get there as a society, but the cold hard fact is that women are so much more likely than men to be assaulted or coerced on a date. But, try becoming friends outside of work first. There's a reason advances are looked down upon in these situations: it's not about the no/yes, it's about the fact that the likelihood of an honest answer being expected or given in such a situation is low, close to impossible. I will put a quick disclaimer/bias I am female, and I think women overall have to deal with this more than men, so its probably why its more annoying in my mind. After about 2 It can be intimidating to ask someone out, especially if you dont feel confident in your own skin. But I didnt love YOU. I agree. That person is required be there and is required to be attentive/kind to you and to every other customer. WebHow To Ask A Cashier Out? 15 years ago when I worked in retail customers asked me out all the time. Here's where you'll go wrong, due to these butterflies, oh man -. This is extra worse when youre a captive audience who cant get away from them at work, and its why a lot of us would recommend not asking at all or proceeding with extreme caution. @sphennings - I outlined a gentle first step towards getting together with a person of interest outside work, in a public venue. When he's getting off work and what plans he has afterward. Here are some tips on how to ask a cashier out: Take the time to start a conversation. Theres also the fact that we dont know the OPs gender, and we dont know if this is opposite sex flirtation. Only guy Ive ever asked out! isn't found by making her uncomfortable. Or something like that, I don't remember, it doesn't matter anyway. ;). How to get to know a service staff without interrupting her work? If she doesn't drive a conversation on her own initiative then stand down and shrug it off. I think he was banned from campus finally because I never saw him again. And there's the factor that when men are hurt, they sometimes hurt back. I expect it to be more difficult in a big supermarket than in a small shop, but I wouldn't label this behaviour as non respectful. WebIf you're a regular, you can talk to her casually until she gets used to seeing you. You really have to go with your gut, I think. should I take my Etsy business off my resume? Yes, it was a common interest, but I also had a certain number of reservations and sales I needed to make. With the acknowledgment that some people may say NOT to ask a cashier out at her work, can I get some ideas from you all assuming that I AM going to ask her out. However, it has happened from time-to-time. To clarify, I was talking about adult students, but still. It would be ok if you ran into an employee somewhere else organically. Im not sure if this is a good compromise to not passing up an opportunity but also not putting pressure on him at work. Or care. Try it if you meet somewhere else. I dont think its a horrendous crime to ask someone out, I just remember wishing (as a former waitress) that people would just let me bring them their food instead of assuming were friends now because weve been interacting for 8 minutes in my place of work. If you decide to ignore this advice and try to ask them out, you need to understand that it's highly likely that they aren't into you. How could I have better handled telling this minority woman I liked her cultural hairstyle? The best you can do is wait until you at least know her for a whole lot of time longer and write your phone number down, and the next time you finished your business with her you give it to her with a verbal 'I'd like to get to know you, if you want to, send me a And all kinds of stuff in-between. Is "I didn't think it was serious" usually a good defence against "duty to rescue"? Contact the financial institution that the cashiers check was issued from to find out if its valid. That complicates the process of turning you down if they don't want to date you. But then even if she says yeah I have to find a way to get her my number quickly. Just FYI: I've had male cashiers say things like "Nice to see you again", and it doesn't mean they want to go out with me, ok? I dont think its fair to ask people to voluntarily take on that risk at work when theres another approach that will neatly avoid that issue. Therefore, don't ask her when her shift ends, or to meet in the rapey spot at the back of the parking lot, after her shift, when it's all dark and gloomy. While I've known this girl she has blocked or otherwise shut out countless guys trying the same thing and that could easily have been me as well. In my case, it was simple. Who, granted, recognized her because she was a regular, and they had a bit of teasing banter going on which maybe had an undertone of flirting? It was very intentional for me to talk to you about games. In a different life I might have chatted with her more than I did. She could always change her answer or answer in a positive way to give you more information. My advice would be to tentatively engage in a light cashier-related conversation, even if it's just a "Hello again" and a pleasant smile. No one wants to be a creeper. Ask and offer advice for specific dating situations. Thanks! August 26, 2005 1:13 AM Subscribe (1) Say something that clearly demonstrates that you like her. It pays In the last few years, Ive had men ask me out, and although flattering, theyre usually significantly older than me (40s and 50s even) and it puts me in a very awkward position of turning them down. Worse the job requirements often entail being nice to customers, and definitely engaging customers and remaining at ones post. He may truly be interested but the power imbalance there makes it sort of uncomfortable. There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. If you ever finish early and want to join me for a cup of coffee, let me know. Something that puts the ball in the employees court without putting pressure for them to come up with a polite on-the-spot rejection. Some do. So try some small-talk and see where it takes you, but be polite and do not ask for a date up front. How are engines numbered on Starship and Super Heavy? :). Most? I've never asked out someone I've had no prior knowledge of and think it would be fun. The guy was CLEARLY crushing on her, he was like he forgot something at the store so he came back, and proceeded to just chat further and she was smiling and just allowed herself to be responsive. Q: How should I approach the cashier? No one likes that. Tip number 2 for getting cashier girls: To seduce a cashier girl, be very well dressed and be well groomed. And this is an obvious double standard but I think its less of a big deal because the manager in question is male. If theyre interested they will, specifically, ask you. Im nice and can have a very bubbly personality, and it really frustrates me that men would assume I was flirting and ask me out. Hi. For me, once was an uncomfortable first date, once was a few dates, no more, once was an amazing relationship and one turned into a stalker. I know I have a weirdly strong opinion on this, but no. As several others already have replied - it depends where you are and the (as yet) unknown chemistry between you and the cashier. I waited tables for a very long time. When asking out a cashier, it is important to always put yourself in their shoes and be respectful of their feelings. It seems pointless to overthink when the answer is either yes or no. Maybe you should stop by is perfect because simply not showing up is a lot easier than rejecting someone outright. Please dont hit on the poor schmuck who has to be nice to you or get fired. My goal here is to help you not mess up. Then, awkwardness. Dont drop compliments and hit on her, asking how her day is Women deal with this sort of stuff all the time at work, in public, going about errands, etc. the flipside of male privilege men get to generally live their lives without an underlying fear of being rapedbut once in a while that fear comes in real handy. Google Schrodingers rapist if you want the full scoop. All of my long term relationships have come from mutual friends or activity groups. You could do it this way; One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier . You won't know where to stop and it'll turn creepy. Cookie Notice I tried to give it an international flavor (ie, here it's generally OK to make smalltalk or jokes if time allows, but that's not the same as asking her out). Good day!". My boyfriend has told me many stories about the waitresses who were in love with him when he was single and I just shake my head in amazement. That's just basic humanity. Its how our brains are wired up. Something short and simple and easy for both of you. And if she doesn't come, well, you were planning to go there anyways so it's not a real loss on your part - you just spent an afternoon/evening doing something you already enjoy. If done in a non creepy way and they gracefully accepted my no, I would be flattered. Where I live now, in Central European rural areas that latter point is the predominant norm. I used to work at a library too and we were always told not to give out our full names and to be vigilant of patrons. Its normal. Which really just makes things more complicated, since theres no way for sure to know his crushs sexual orientation (something heterosexual would-be workplace-suitors should also keep in mind) and theres sadly more potential for the reaction to be negative if hes wrong. One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier. Would you feel flattered? I do not so much when it happens to me. For instance whether she looks at you in the eyes while answering, if her answers are short, if she asks you something as well, etc. The majority of guys were creepy and it was a huge irritant, especially if they were repeat offenders. +1. Dont ask out the waitress, or other person providing you customer service in order to survive. The cashier probably wouldnt know how to find him if he just stopped showing up. I still think it could make women feel trapped into flirting back lest they be seen as rude or ungrateful but its better than flat out asking. It did not go well. I see what youre getting at, but my experience in retail and food service was that everybody doing the latter still thinks theyre doing the former. Too bad The IT Crowd is off the air, I could totally see them doing a show like this one. Get their attention by saying something like I was wondering if youd like to grab dinner sometime rather than Will you go out with me? To be successful in this AH this reminds me of when I went out to brunch with a friend and she picked the restaurant and as we were walking up to the door she turned to me and said, Well, I cant promise I wont ask out our waiter before the end of the meal! It turns out she was a regular at this place and had a huge thing for a waiter.